Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Wipeout - Food Fight


Aired on Tuesday, Sep 07, 2010

Transcript
00:00:00 The hang of it.
00:00:02 U're doing gr--i mean, you're terrible at it.
00:00:05 Keep talking.
00:00:07 ..
00:00:07 today 24 men and women will b tackle the biggest obstacle course ever assembled, and one of them will walk away $50,000 richer.
00:00:16 And the first step in the journey to the cash is the "wipeout" qualifier.
00:00:19 This week they begin by facing the hoop run.
00:00:20 Welcome to our 4-ring circus.
00:00:23 They will spar with the sucker punch wall.
00:00:24 " and it wouldn't be a qualifier without the big balls and the motivar.
00:00:30 They're moving, john, now with 100% more unfairness.
00:00:33 Then they'll shimmy on to our shake-a-lator.
00:00:35 Get over those velvet ropes or get bounced, my friend.
00:00:38 And finally there's the shape-shifter.
00:00:38 Circles, squares and triangles-- it's educational.
00:00:42 Of our 24 competitors, only the top 12 times will move past the qualifier and into the second round.
00:00:47 All right, let's get down to the action.
00:00:49 ♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo, ♪
00:00:52 hey, who's the fourth member of the lollipop guild?
00:00:53 That's eli gurian, and jill wagner's on the story.
00:00:57 What do you do, eli?
00:00:58 I study geology and seismology.
00:01:01 Oh, so you like-- you like dirt and rocks.
00:01:03 Mostly rocks.
00:01:03 This year we don't have the big balls.
00:01:06 We have four big rocks.
00:01:07 Are you serious?
00:01:08 Yep.
00:01:09 Dude, this is, like, the greatest thing I've ever seen ever.
00:01:11 (laughs) (voice speeds up) I don't even know what to do.
00:01:13 And there's also alligators.
00:01:16 (normal voice) That's not good.
00:01:18 (air horn blows) (John H.) WOW. (laughs) He believed we had rocks for big balls.
00:01:21 Whoo!
00:01:22 can't wait until he gets to the alligators.
00:01:25 (John A.) OUR ROCK STAR IS UP TO The first obstacle--the hoops.
00:01:27 All he has to do is jump through a few hoops without faing into the mud.
00:01:30 (grunts) AAH!
00:01:32 Oh, eli going for a quick spin, but makes it back to his feet.
00:01:33 Aah!
00:01:36 Ooh!
00:01:36 H!
00:01:37 Eli, you're rockin' this course.
00:01:38 (bell dings) Geology puns? I wanna play!
00:01:40 I wanna play!
00:01:41 Hey, let's see if eli gets rocked on the sucker punch.
00:01:42 That's the exact same pun.
00:01:46 So?
00:01:46 Ooh!
00:01:48 Ooh!
00:01:48 eli just got rocked by the exact same glove. look.
00:01:51 ..
00:01:51 Ooh!
00:01:53 In 3-d.
00:01:53 Nice, johnny.
00:01:55 Eli's coming to the big balls.
00:01:55 You know what they say.
00:01:59 The bigger they are, the harder they fall!
00:02:01 (grunts) AAH!
00:02:01 Ooh!
00:02:03 And the quicker they sink.
00:02:05 Don't they say "rolling stones gather no moss"?
00:02:07 Ooh! yeah.
00:02:07 yeah, but it looks like this one's picking up some algae.
00:02:10 Well, our rock star, making his way to the shake-a-lator.
00:02:13 This is gonna suck.
00:02:14 It's not gonna suck.
00:02:14 It's gonna be awesome.
00:02:16 And we've added these velvet ropes that you jump over as you cross to the other side.
00:02:20 (grunts) Ah!
00:02:22 yeah, you were totally right. that sucked.
00:02:25 Aah!
00:02:25 the shake-a-lator getting the rock star and the stones.
00:02:28 (grunts) Let's see if he gets any better on the shape-shifter.
00:02:32 He'll have to jumpff that diving board, through one of the shapes and on to the final platform.
00:02:36 If he wipes out, it's a cold swim to this secondary finish spot.
00:02:39 I love diving boards.
00:02:41 Oh! diving boards love you.
00:02:43 And I love giant spinning wheels with geometrical shapes cut in them.
00:02:46 Eli's made it into the triangle and now just sort of needs to wheel back around and jump on to the-- aah!
00:02:53 Oh!
00:02:53 Oh! so close.
00:02:54 Rockin' it! just rockin'.
00:02:55 Rock star clashes with the shape-shifter, and it rocks his casbah.
00:02:58 Aah!
00:02:59 But our rock star does have a very nice opening time.
00:03:00 (panting) ..
00:03:05 Let's go back to the first obstacle, where fresh as a muddy spring morning is 21-year-old amber bronder.
00:03:09 Oh!
00:03:10 Aah!
00:03:11 she tries the sit-and-spin approach. surpse!
00:03:12 Aah!
00:03:13 Oh!
00:03:13 John, amber definitely did not see that coming.
00:03:17 Amber actually had a surprise for jill as well earlier.
00:03:19 And I did not see that coming.
00:03:20 So do you think rthis is intimidating the other competitors?
00:03:23 Absolutely.
00:03:25 Are you hurting right now?
00:03:25 No.
00:03:26 You're making me hurt.
00:03:27 (chuckles) I'M SORRY.
00:03:29 (John H.) IT'S MAKING You hurt, jill?
00:03:30 I pulled my groin just watching it.
00:03:31 Oh, my god! are you serious?
00:03:33 (grunts) Oh, I'm serious.
00:03:34 It's club henson this week.
00:03:36 Our shake-a-lator is the bouncer, and you gotta get over the velvet ropes if you wanna get in.
00:03:40 Aah!
00:03:42 But trust me, it's worth it, ..
00:03:43 Ooh!
00:03:45 Ladies drink free.
00:03:45 Aah! aah! aah!
00:03:48 I sure hope ..
00:03:50 Aah!
00:03:50 Because that hit was hard.
00:03:52 Now coming up on the shape-sifter, that's kimberly dreher.
00:03:54 Hey, you know what, john?
00:03:54 It looks like she's a vegan.
00:03:56 Really? how can you tell?
00:03:57 Oh, I can spot a vegan from anywhere.
00:03:59 Wow. good eyes.
00:03:59 I think it's all the carrots I eat.
00:04:03 Aah! this is scary.
00:04:05 Come on. it's not scary.
00:04:07 Fakin' bacon is scary.
00:04:07 This is just mildly amusing.
00:04:11 (sighs) Come on, vegan, don't be a chicken.
00:04:14 Johnny, don't egg her on.
00:04:14 Hey, that was a good yolk.
00:04:17 Oh!
00:04:17 Oh!
00:04:18 That was even better.
00:04:18 Luckily for our vegan, our padding is made out of soy and tofu.
00:04:23 It looks like real padding, but it tastes like real beef.
00:04:27 (grunts) Now let's go back to the top of the course.
00:04:28 Aah!
00:04:32 Aah!
00:04:34 Is it over yet?
00:04:34 (air horn blows) Is it over yet? heck, no.
00:04:36 We're just getting started.
00:04:36 Check out lifeguard tiffany garcia, heading towards the hoops.
00:04:40 Aah!
00:04:41 (John A. and John H.) OOH!
00:04:42 Ooh!ay,chihuahua.
00:04:44 Let's see how tiffany fares on the second half of the hoops.
00:04:46 Here she goes.
00:04:46 Aah!
00:04:47 Oh! she's back.
00:04:48 (laughs) YEAH, SHE MUST Really be having fun if she wants to do it again.
00:04:51 These hoops are no day at the beach.
00:04:54 Aah!
00:04:55 Ooh!
00:04:55 Let's see our lifeguard wipeout in "baywatch" super slo-mo.
00:04:56 Take a look.
00:04:56 Vit's a big hit here, and even bigger in repeats.
00:05:01 People have been taking shots at our hoops all day, johnny.
00:05:04 Aah!
00:05:05 (woman grunts) Ooh! ridonkulous!
00:05:08 Aah!
00:05:08 Not in my house.
00:05:10 Aah!
00:05:10 Yes!
00:05:12 Aah! oh!
00:05:12 Air ball!
00:05:15 Alley-oops!
00:05:15 Aah!
00:05:16 Yes! and it counts!
00:05:17 (grunts) AAH!
00:05:20 Aah!
00:05:20 Dipsy-doo dunkaroo, baby!
00:05:23 Jill, who's next?
00:05:24 I'm down here with jesse carrion.
00:05:26 You're a dad, right?
00:05:26 That's correct.
00:05:27 I have four children, and my fiancée also has ..
00:05:30 Oh, wow.
00:05:32 "Therady bunch" plus what, one, two?
00:05:34 (John H.) "BRADY BUNCH"?
00:05:34 " anderson, I've got this one.
00:05:38 brady, here's a story about a wall named sucker punch who's been bringing down some very lovely contestants.
00:05:42 Ooh!
00:05:43 jesse gets brady-punched, but keeps on going.
00:05:44 Oh! his nose!
00:05:48 Jesse takes a glove to the face like marcia took a football to the nose.
00:05:51 somebody's watched " founding father of the florence henderson fan club, my friend. oh!
00:05:56 jesse's made it onto the second big ball.
00:06:00 And he's off the second big ball.
00:06:02 And just like greg in hawaii, jesse surfs the second ball and wipes out.
00:06:06 I'm telling ya, never should have taken that evil tiki idol from bobby.
00:06:10 (voice cracking) AND IT'S Time to change obstacles.
00:06:11 Oh!
00:06:12 your voice is cracking like peter brady's.
00:06:16 My voice is cracking?
00:06:17 Oh! cracka-lacka!
00:06:19 Jesse getting manhandled by the shake-a-lator, but he crawls to that second set of ropes.
00:06:23 Aah!
00:06:25 Hey! brady crunched!
00:06:25 (voice continues cracking) Another hard hit on jesse.
00:06:29 Maybe it's time to change tactics.
00:06:31 I think that's a good idea, john, and he's doing it now, going over on his back instead of his stomach.
00:06:36 That's--that's interesting.
00:06:39 Let's see how jesse handles the end of the shake-a-lator.
00:06:40 Oh!
00:06:41 Oh!
00:06:42 (normal voice) OH!
00:06:42 A very brady wipeout indeed!
00:06:44 I love the shake-a-lator.
00:06:46 Mm, mike brady himself couldn't have designed it any better.
00:06:49 And poor jesse still has to get through the shape-shifter.
00:06:50 (grunts) circle takes the square uncomfortably.
00:06:54 Aah!
00:06:56 Curse you, evil tiki god!
00:06:58 Jesse wedged in there upside down and-- oh! upended into the water.
00:07:04 Jesse finishing with a disappointing time of 9:21.
00:07:07 "The brady bunch" is in danger of being canceled.
00:07:10 I watch it every day at 4:30.
00:07:13 Yeah, it was canceled BACK IN THE '70s.
00:07:15 You're watching reruns.
00:07:15 well, that would explain the hair.
00:07:18 Mm-hmm.
00:07:18 Stick around, america.
00:07:20 Yep, when we return, a boatload more wipeouts coming your way.
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00:08:41 The cost always makes mom freak.
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00:08:45 Mom, the back to school list is here.
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00:09:23 ♪ ♪
00:10:27 ♪
00:10:30 " yeah, tonight we have a big surprise ending for you, people.
00:10:32 Mm-hmm.
00:10:35 Spoiler alert-- somebody is gonna walk away with $50,000.
00:10:39 Somebody wins $50,000 ery week.
00:10:42 Yeah, but this week it's somebody new.
00:10:44 Oh, well, in that case, let's get back to our qualifier.
00:10:47 Jill's down with our next contestant.
00:10:49 All right, guys, I'm down here with rob dickey.
00:10:51 Rob, welcome to our show.
00:10:52 Thank you.
00:10:53 So what special skills do you have?
00:10:53 Uh, numbers.
00:10:54 I'm really good at numbers.
00:10:57 Basically almost like a picture memory of--of numbers.
00:11:01 Really?
00:11:01 25, 6, 7, 4, 2, 1, 1, 1, 5.
00:11:03 15, 28, 1, 1, 8, 9, 2.
00:11:03 (John H.) HEY, IIAL SKILL. JOHN, WATCH.
00:11:09 (air horn blows) 6, 2, 7, 8, pi, "f," semicolon, ampersand.
00:11:12 So, uh, what is this guy's actual deal with numbers anyway?
00:11:15 He just likes 'em, john, thinks he's good with 'em.
00:11:16 (grunts) Oh!
00:11:18 slapstick comedy and a math whiz-- truly the lowest common denominator.
00:11:24 Well, let's see if he can count the number of jabs the sucker punch delivers.
00:11:26 One, two, three, four.
00:11:27 One, two, three, four.
00:11:29 (grunts) Oh!
00:11:31 Five.
00:11:31 Yeah, that wall is really kicking some math.
00:11:34 Our math is no doubt calculating his probability of getting over the big balls here.
00:11:39 Ow your work. oh!
00:11:40 Aah!
00:11:41 rob getting his numbers crunched.
00:11:42 Ooh! ow.
00:11:43 Now rob dickey's about to face a very simple problem-- it's the shake-a-lator.
00:11:46 On one side, off the other.
00:11:46 ! (grunts) and he's divided by that velvet rope.
00:11:52 ..
00:11:53 Oh!
00:11:53 But the shake-a-lator carries this remainder into the water.
00:11:55 (laughs) Our math whiz is up to the final obstacle--the shape-shifter.
00:12:00 Let's see how he is with geometry.
00:12:00 (grunts) Oh!
00:12:03 and it rings his bell curve.
00:12:06 A true math whiz knows you can take the hypotenuse of a triangle, divide it by a 10-mile-an-hour wind resistance, add a 15-degree jump angle and get the perfect trajectory to land on the final platform.
00:12:16 Rob's miscalculation-- he jumps straight down.
00:12:18 Still, ..
00:12:19 Ah. whoo!
00:12:21 A very coefficient run for our math wz.
00:12:23 Now back at the shake-a-lator, we have 23-year-old catherine thoma, who looks thrilled to be here.
00:12:28 !
00:12:29 Okay, maybe not, but she is excited to be representin'.
00:12:32 ♪ Single ladies ♪
00:12:32 catherine, basically, can I say that you want a boyfriend today?
00:12:36 Yeah, and if he's, like, 6-foot, tall, dark and handsome, if he likes to cook, ..
00:12:44 (John H.) WELL, AT LEAST SHE'S let's see if she goes for something mechanical, shaky and with ropes on it.
00:12:48 runts) AAH!
00:12:50 Oh!
00:12:50 Shake-a-lator immediately sweeps her off her feet.
00:12:53 And just like that, she's showg her clingy side.
00:12:54 Well, at least she's made a connection.
00:12:57 She's definitely heels over head.
00:12:58 Aah!
00:12:59 oh, the shake-a-lator wants to see other people.
00:13:02 It didn't take the shake-a-lator long to figure out it's just not th into her.
00:13:07 Catherine has one final shot at love, though, johnny-- it's the shape-shifter.
00:13:10 (boing) Aah!
00:13:12 Oh!
00:13:13 she gets denied one last time.
00:13:14 The shape-shifter tried ..
00:13:15 (ding) But uh-uh-oh, uh-uh-uh-oh.
00:13:17 Now approaching the shake-a-lator is david damiani.
00:13:22 Jill found out why he's a little gaga earlier.
00:13:24 David, what's something that no one knows about you?
00:13:27 um, my mother, for some reason, kept me sleeping in a crib since I was, like, 7 years old.
00:13:33 Yeah.
00:13:33 Wait a minute.
00:13:34 ..
00:13:36 Yeah.
00:13:37 Until you were 7?
00:13:39 Yeah. yeah.
00:13:39 (John H.) You think that's weird?
00:13:42 David wore diapers until he was 21.
00:13:42 Really?
00:13:44 No, but he's not up here to defend himself.
00:13:47 (grunts) Oh!
00:13:48 Let's see holong it takes big baby david to walk.
00:13:51 he's calling out for his mom, and he's only halfway through the shake-a-lator.
00:13:53 Maybe the shake-a-lator's rocking will lull him to sleep.
00:13:57 Or maybe that rope will give him diaper rash.
00:13:59 Oh!
00:14:00 Either way, our bouncing baby boy is getting burped by the shake-a-lator.
00:14:03 John, it looks like big baby david is hanging on to his childhood for as long as he can.
00:14:06 Oh! oh!
00:14:09 Sometimes you just gotta cut the cord, david.
00:14:10 Good advice.
00:14:13 Who else do we have on this john, who's that and where did he get that awesome t-shirt?
00:14:17 That's jahed khan, and he told jill all about that fancy shirt.
00:14:21 (bird chirps) Why isn't he moving?
00:14:24 I have no idea.
00:14:25 Where did you get that nice t-shirt you have ?
00:14:26 abc.com.
00:14:29 abc.com, RIGHT.
00:14:30 So let me guess-- you wore this t-shirt, thinking that our big balls would be nice to you, huh?
00:14:33 I think soyes.
00:14:36 That's why they gave it to me.
00:14:36 abc.com, YOU KNOW?
00:14:39 I'm the o-- SO LET'S PLUG abc.com ONE MORE TIME. (laughs) I'm--i'm the only one who got IT. SO abc.com, YOU KNOW?
00:14:43 abc.com. abc.com.
00:14:47 abc.com.
00:14:47 abc.com.
00:14:48 OH, abc.com.
00:14:49 (laughs) (John A.) JAHED Up to our big balls.
00:14:52 Well, let's see if he gets HALF AS MANY HITS AS abc.com.
00:14:53 OH! (grunts) Oh!
00:14:56 we have to see that again.
00:14:59 OH! (grunts) Oh!
00:15:01 Oh! commercial break.
00:15:03 You know, john, he's not the only one advertising how hard the big balls are.
00:15:06 Aah!
00:15:08 Ooh! magically ball-icious.
00:15:09 Aah!
00:15:10 AAH! (grunts) WHOA!
00:15:11 Mm!
00:15:12 Oh!
00:15:12 He's cuckoo for big balls.
00:15:14 Aah!
00:15:15 (laughs) Whew!
00:15:16 The big balls give ..
00:15:17 AAH! (grunts) And keep on ticking.
00:15:21 Piece of cake.
00:15:21 I'll tell you what's not a piece of cake-- the shake-a-lator.
00:15:25 And rico curtis is about to find out why.
00:15:27 It says here he calls himself " ah, he's getting thunderstruck by the shake-a-lator.
00:15:31 Aah!
00:15:34 Ah.
00:15:35 Valiant effort.
00:15:35 Valiant effort indeed, jill, but "rolling thunder" rico curtis is gonna need more than that if he's gonna get by the toughest obstacle on the qualifier today.
00:15:44 Let's enjoy his effort on the shape-shifter.
00:15:47 (grunts) (boing) OH! (laughs) Oh! spectacular!
00:15:51 Oh! that is how you do it.
00:15:54 No kidding, jill.
00:15:55 Rolling thunder jumps right through that circle and lands on the final platform. unreal.
00:16:01 A remarkable ending to a very competitive run by rico, inspired and possibly because, as he told us, he has to beat our last ..
00:16:07 (grunts) Who also happens to be his wife rebecca.
00:16:12 Just between us, who do you think's gonna win?
00:16:15 I mean, i-i gotta hide the guns, you know what I mean?
00:16:18 But I think it's gonna, you know, it's gonna be me.
00:16:19 I want to know your special skill.
00:16:22 What sets you apart from the other contestants?
00:16:23 You're not even gonna see me.
00:16:24 I'm gonna go right through it.
00:16:27 I'm gonna win this thing, baby.
00:16:28 Rebecca's calling her shot, tjohn.
00:16:30 She's not only beating her husband, at this point, she's got one of the fastest runs of the day.
00:16:33 Aah!
00:16:35 Oh!
00:16:35 now that's gonna be a hit to the time, but she's still looking lightning quick.
00:16:39 Oof!
00:16:41 "Oof" is a good word, ..
00:16:43 Aah!
00:16:43 " "lightning" curtis amping it up here.
00:16:47 Aah!
00:16:47 Makes it over the second set she's sure taking the shake-a-lator to school, johnny.
00:16:51 Her husband was the only person to make it through the shape-shifter.
00:16:57 I thinkshe'sgot what it takes to be the only person to get across the shake-a-lator.
00:17:00 There's only one way to find out, john.
00:17:03 Here she goes.
00:17:04 Aah!
00:17:05 Oh!
00:17:05 well, I also thought my first marriage was gonna make it.
00:17:07 Aah!
00:17:09 Lightning's up to the shape-shifter.
00:17:11 Let's see if the curtises can strike twice.
00:17:13 (boing) Oh, she made it into the square, john.
00:17:17 If she can just right herself ..
00:17:18 Aah!
00:17:20 (John A. and John H.) OHH!
00:17:20 Oh! that was so close.
00:17:23 Rebecca with a good jump, but the square grounds this lightning bolt to the short circuit.
00:17:27 But rebecca still finishes ..
00:17:28 Whoo!
00:17:31 28, Which is third fastest of the day, so both she and her husband will be moving on.
00:17:35 Also advancing-- rock star eli gurian, lifeguard tiffany garcia and math whiz rob dickey.
00:17:41 Also joining them will be single lady catherine thoma, big baby david damiani and jahed "abc-dot" khan.
00:17:47 Stick arou, america, ..
00:17:49 Aah!
00:17:49 Our contestants better watch their backs.
00:17:52 It's the double cross.
00:17:57 spade?
00:17:57 ..
00:17:58 Wait,are you the baby?
00:18:00 Ha, ha, ha!
00:18:01 7Up's new crisp, clean taste can make anyone feel ridiculously bubbly. whoa, ha, ha.
00:18:06 Hey, where do you want me to stick these?
00:18:08 By the fire place, of course!
00:18:09 What a great backyard, huh?
00:18:12 Why yes, perfect for barbecues.
00:18:14 7Up, a new taste so crisp andclean, it's ridiculous.
00:18:19 You want me to shove it?
00:18:19 Ok, let's wrap this up guys, it's wearing off.
00:18:24 It's our honeymoon.
00:18:25 But we've parted ways with our old airline credit card that promised flights for 25,000 miles.
00:18:29 IT WAS ALWAYS... [ laughing ] That seat's not happening without a big miles upcharge.
00:18:34 A miles upcharge wasn't part of the deal.
00:18:36 Was I supposed to go without my wife?
00:18:38 [ elevator bell dings ] [ grunting ] Haha, that was awkward.
00:18:41 SO WE UPGRADED TO THE Venture Card FROM Capital One.
00:18:44 We've had it with the games.
00:18:45 [ Male Announcer ] DON'T PAY MILES UPCHARGES.
00:18:47 Don't play games.
00:18:48 Get the flight you want WITH THE Venture Card AT Capitalone.com.
00:18:51 What's in your wallet?
00:19:25 this.
00:19:25 ♪
00:19:46 it's a pretty big deal.
00:20:10 ♪♪
00:20:11 I thought it was over here...
00:20:18 ♪♪
00:21:08 ct be curD AFTER THE QUALIFIER, We're down to 12.
00:21:24 Who's left, john?
00:21:26 Allow me to tell you.
00:21:27 We have the human pretzel, amber bronder, vegan kimberly dreher and the math whiz, rob dickey.
00:21:33 We also have single lady catherine thoma, and our married couple-- thunder and lightning, rico and rebecca curtis.
00:21:38 Johnny, be quiet for a second.
00:21:39 I'm not talking.
00:21:41 Do you hear that?
00:21:41 No.
00:21:43 It's the calm before the storm, the drumroll before fonzie jumps the shark, the beating of my heart before I fall in love with the double cross all over again.
00:21:51 And you know how love hurts.
00:21:53 Here's how the double cross works.
00:21:55 Our 12 contestants begin on a 10-foot-high platform as four planks move around and around.
00:22:00 Contestants must jump on to one of the green planks to start, then use the one rlank to get to the unstable table on the other side.
00:22:06 But look out, because in their ..
00:22:09 Aah!
00:22:09 Swinging around in the opposite direction.
00:22:11 If contestants wipeout, they have to start the whole thing all over again.
00:22:14 they are ready to get crossways.
00:22:17 So let's get started.
00:22:18 (cheering) Let's do this.
00:22:19 Single lady hitting on rico "thunder" curtis, who's married.
00:22:23 Hey, single lady, maybe you'd have a better chance with single guys.
00:22:28 Well, the double cross is underway, and here they go.
00:22:31 Oh!
00:22:31 two get crossed off immediately.
00:22:34 Big baby david gets spanked.
00:22:34 Oh!
00:22:36 Ooh!
00:22:36 And then sent to his room.
00:22:37 (grunts) That'll stunt your growth.
00:22:39 (grunts) (woman) GO, ELI!
00:22:41 Eli's on, and our rock star seems to have his own cheeng section.
00:22:43 Well, that's what happens when you're a rock star.
00:22:47 Now the fans rush the stage after him and then take stage dives.
00:22:50 Aah!
00:22:51 But our rock star's off to that finish spot.
00:22:52 Aah!
00:22:54 Oh!
00:22:54 eli's a rolling stone who can't get no satisfaction.
00:22:58 Jumping jack splash.
00:22:58 Oh!
00:22:59 Oh!
00:22:59 Our double cross getting cross with the contestants.
00:23:02 Aah!
00:23:02 The lifeguard goes in the deep end, and our single lady gets dumped.
00:23:06 Rob the math whiz travels the radius of our circle.
00:23:09 Ooh!
00:23:09 Ooh! our vegan gets squashed.
00:23:12 Math whiz is up,ooking to take that number one spot.
00:23:15 Computes the proper vector and, yes!
00:23:17 Yeah! whoo!
00:23:18 His calculations are correct, and our math whiz is the first contestant moving on.
00:23:20 That leaves five spots.
00:23:23 Big baby david leaves the training wheels behind as he makes it to the center and straight to the finish.
00:23:27 (Jill) WAY TO GO!
00:23:29 He's moving on as well.
00:23:29 They grow up so quickly, john.
00:23:32 With big baby david claiming ..
00:23:33 Aah!
00:23:35 Only four remain.
00:23:35 But lightning rebecca and the rock star are on, and our rock star has definite staying power ..
00:23:41 (grunts) Down the red plank and--oh!
00:23:43 Oh, no!
00:23:44 Our rock star has no sense of rhythm.
00:23:46 (grunts) That platform tips every nine seconds, and you gotta time iright.
00:23:49 We still have the four spots open.
00:23:52 I see you, babe.
00:23:52 !
00:23:53 Thunder rumbling some cheers for his wife, ..
00:23:56 Oh!
00:23:57 But no good.
00:23:57 Vegan gets hit by the sweeper arm, but is holding on like bacon wrapped around a filet.
00:24:00 Not that she would know what that deliciousness is like.
00:24:03 And our rock star has once again made it to center stage.
00:24:08 (Kimberly) AAH!
00:24:08 What was that?
00:24:09 Jahed "abc-dot" khan jumps our vegan and scares her off faster than you can say "haggis," just as the bar sends "abc-dot" khan into the water-backslash- starting platform.
00:24:20 Still four spots left, and our rock star's a stone's throw away from the finish platform, and eli advances.
00:24:25 Come on!
00:24:26 And he will, he will rock us in the next round.
00:24:29 (Jill) ALL RIGHT, LADIES.
00:24:30 (woman) WE'RE TRYING.
00:24:31 (woman) I'M TRYING HERE.
00:24:31 I'm trying.
00:24:32 (John H.) GOOD POINT, JILL. ALL The guys are moving on so far.
00:24:35 The girls need to step it up.
00:24:35 Hi.
00:24:36 And our single lady has made it to the middle.
00:24:37 How you doin'?
00:24:40 And there she goes again, just hitting on the married man.
00:24:42 it never works out for the other woman.
00:24:45 ..
00:24:45 Mm-hmm.
00:24:47 So she's on her way to break up the affair.
00:24:48 Then again, lightning always follows thunder.
00:24:49 Other way around, john, but thunder's up and rumbling down that red plank.
00:24:52 Aah!
00:24:54 double cross stole his thunder.
00:24:54 Our single lady finally coming ..
00:24:58 Aah!
00:24:58 And--ooh! rejected.
00:25:00 Oh!
00:25:00 Ooh.
00:25:02 Amber, the human pretzel, wraps herself around the bar and making her way to the middle.
00:25:06 Now the lifeguard is on the bar.
00:25:06 What is it with these ladies riding the pole?
00:25:09 (filtered voice) ALL LADIES To the center stage.
00:25:10 Rebecca's lining up that red plank.
00:25:13 Oh!
00:25:14 (normal voice) OH! WOWIE!
00:25:15 The platform catches lightning in a bottle.
00:25:16 (grunts) Well, we still have three spots open.
00:25:21 Human pretzel headed for that finish.
00:25:21 Oh!
00:25:23 Oh! gets hit by the bar.
00:25:24 Whoa!
00:25:24 Oh!
00:25:25 Sh--my god!
00:25:26 "Sh--my god" is right.
00:25:26 With one fell swoop, the sweeper arm takes out the lifeguard and the human pretzel.
00:25:30 Have I mentioned three spots open? lightning at it again.
00:25:35 Oh, bit of a st-- she's made it to the middle.
00:25:37 Lifeguard right behind her.
00:25:39 Single lady's made it again as well.
00:25:41 Lightning is up, and the lifeguard is trailing behind.
00:25:43 (Rebecca) Got it! got it! got it!
00:25:45 lightning has made it to the finish spot.
00:25:48 Lifeguard's gotta get off that table before it tips.
00:25:49 Aah!
00:25:51 Oh!
00:25:51 Oh, my god.
00:25:52 Oh! amazing!
00:25:52 That fills two of our spots, leaving one question left unanswered-- who will be the last contestant moving on?
00:25:57 Thunder makes a move and rendezvous with our single lady.
00:26:00 Come on, baby.
00:26:01 His better half either trying to help him remember his marriage vows or trying to get him to the next round.
00:26:04 But single lady ending the affair.
00:26:07 Oh! she needs to hurry.
00:26:08 Please don't tip me. aah!
00:26:09 And she has made it to the finish and claims that final spot.
00:26:11 You're definitely gonna get a boyfriend now.
00:26:15 I hope so!
00:26:15 And with that, we have our final six.
00:26:18 Among them are math whiz rob dickey, big baby david damiani, rock star eli gurian, rebecca "lightning" curtis, lifeguard tiffany garcia and single lady catherine thoma.
00:26:28 I hope they're hungry, because we are about ..
00:26:30 Aah!
00:26:32 That is sure to end with a lot of heartburn.
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00:26:38 [ grunting ] ♪ WALK LIKE AN ANGEL ♪
00:26:40 ♪ Walk like an angel ♪
00:26:42 [ laughs ] ♪ Talk like an angel ♪
00:26:45 ♪ but I got wise ♪
00:26:48 [ grunting ] ♪ YOU'RE THE DEVIL IN DISGUISE ♪
00:26:50 [ Male Announcer ] WE PUT IT THROUGH ..
00:26:54 So it'll stand up to just about anything.
00:26:58 The nissan altima.
00:26:59 Innovation that lasts. innovation for all.
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00:27:36 I could wear hats, if I partookin hat type things (birds chirping) Like strolling in an orchard ♪
00:27:47 Is this my husband?
00:27:48 Awesome Cool hat, Mom Oh my perfect kids Alright Fourteen Ninety Nine I totally wear hats ♪
00:28:05 ♪
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00:28:16 [ beep ] [ Male Announcer ]FIND AN ITALIAN MASTERPIECE In your grocer's freezer.
00:28:21 New from buitoni.
00:28:21 Shrimp and lobster ravioli with garlic butter sauce.
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00:30:07 Welcome back.
00:30:07 We are pleased to have you ..
00:30:09 Providing you with your rommended daily dose of calcium, iron, vitamin d and wipeouts.
00:30:15 After double crossing six contestants off our list, we are left with 6 stalwarts gunning for our $50,000 prize.
00:30:21 ..
00:30:22 Math whiz rob dickey, big baby david damiani, rock star eli gurian, rebecca "lightning" curtis, lifeguard tiffany garcia and single lady catherine thoma.
00:30:33 Of those six, only four can move on to the wipeout zone.
00:30:36 What you got there, johnny?
00:30:36 Oh, uh, this is a brand-new "wipeout" cookbook.
00:30:39 I thought I'd whip up something at lunch, you know, in our brand-new "wipeout" cafeteria.
00:30:42 You mean cafeteria spinner?
00:30:44 Yeah, it's more of a lazy susan thing, huh?
00:30:47 Okay, well, they'll have to stay on this "lazy susan" as long as possible.
00:30:51 Contestants must jump over this bar every time it swings around.
00:30:55 If they go under the bar ..
00:30:56 Aah!
00:30:57 They're out of the round.
00:30:58 In addition, contestants can grab for this brass ring, and earn a $1,000 bonus.
00:31:01 (bell tinkles, cash register dings) But, john, it won't be easy, because serving lunch today are my personal chefs, and they specialize in a low-fat, high-impact diet.
00:31:09 Four rounds.
00:31:11 The last person standing in each round moves on to the wipeout zone.
00:31:13 Hey, you know, I got a nice dessert recipe right here.
00:31:17 It's a, uh, pound cake " see, I thought " oh, I didn't even think of that.
00:31:23 Mm-hmm.
00:31:23 Well, let's grab a tray.
00:31:25 The line has formed at the cafeteria.
00:31:27 Math whiz trying hard to calculate his odds of making it to the wipeout zone, and big baby david looks ready to be fed like a baby bird.
00:31:32 John, I think he has his eye on that $1,000 ring.
00:31:37 (ding) Well, we'll find out if he's able to buy a warmer for his baby wipes, because here we go!
00:31:41 (bell rings) Aah!
00:31:43 ..
00:31:45 Whoo-hoo!
00:31:46 Whoa!
00:31:46 ..
00:31:47 Big baby david straight for that 100 bucks, but he sacrificed his chances of winning this round.
00:31:49 Yeah, john, it's like he was ptrying to jump out of his crib.
00:31:54 Wah!
00:31:55 Snagged the ring, but then the spinner puts him in time-out.
00:31:57 Whoo-hoo!
00:31:59 John, that leaves our five grown-up contestants to battle it out under a hailstorm of italian delights.
00:32:02 (Tiffany grunts) ..
00:32:05 Terribly.
00:32:06 No!
00:32:08 The trifecta-- the lifeguard in the pool, rock star down in the quarry, and our single lady just following a man. this is sad.
00:32:14 Oh. nice.
00:32:16 ..
00:32:17 Oh!
00:32:18 Of getting pummeled.
00:32:18 Ohh! was that a watermelon?
00:32:21 Not sure, jill, but the math whiz is feeling it, and here comes a pizza projectile.
00:32:25 Aah!
00:32:27 Yuck!
00:32:27 Finally math whiz gets pied, but it's lightning rebecca curtis who's down and out.
00:32:32 That means our math whiz wins a free trip to the wipeout zone, and all the cabbage and sausage he can eat.
00:32:35 Yeah!
00:32:37 This is not the most sanitary event.
00:32:38 one of our chefs isn't even wearing pants, which as you know, is the way I like to cook at home.
00:32:46 I'm telling ya, you gotta come over.
00:32:47 All right, guys, we're serving up round two. yummy!
00:32:50 Well, jill, round one was culinary chaos, but now that our contestants have a taste of the event and there's no $1,000 distraction, this is gonna be an all-out food fight, to see which of these five stays on the longest.
00:33:00 (bell rings) Here they go.
00:33:05 (woman) AAH!
00:33:06 Gadzooks!
00:33:06 Wow!
00:33:08 Oh!
00:33:09 (Jill) OH! OH!
00:33:09 Oh!
00:33:10 Oh, my god. what happened?
00:33:11 Our chef serving up mean cuisine.
00:33:13 (Tiffany) WAIT. WHO MADE IT?
00:33:14 ..
00:33:16 What was that?
00:33:16 Or what hit 'em.
00:33:19 Let's take a look.
00:33:20 The big love came from the most beautiful dollop of ketchup I have ever seen.
00:33:27 (choir) ♪ AH ♪
00:33:31 ♪ Ah ♪
00:33:33 (man) OH!
00:33:33 Now that's an attack of a killer tomato.
00:33:36 (video rewinds) I have gotta see that again.
00:33:40 (man) OH!
00:33:41 5-Contestant wipeout, and a closer look shows rebecca "lightning" curtis still strong without her thunder.
00:33:47 She'll be the second to advance to the wipeout zone.
00:33:50 All righ guys, we're cooking up round three.
00:33:52 Yeah, that sauce is just rancid.
00:33:53 Aw, no one likes to see the single lady suffer like this.
00:33:58 Well, maybe the woman whose husband she hit on.
00:33:59 (bell rings) Oh, god!
00:34:00 Singleady getting treated to a ltle fast-food date, ..
00:34:05 Head of lettuce.
00:34:07 Not anymore.
00:34:08 (spits) Lifeguard submarined by a wad of dough, sliding in a sea of spaghetti.
00:34:13 Oh! aah!
00:34:15 Arrivederci.
00:34:15 Ciao,bella.
00:34:17 Rock star getting stoned with globs of dough, but he's making it over the bar, and he'll win it .. can't.
00:34:22 Oh!
00:34:24 (Catherine) AAH! OH, MY GOD!
00:34:25 Sayonara, single lady.
00:34:26 And big baby david is diaper-creamed, and that sends eli the rock star swimming his way into the wipeout zone.
00:34:32 Well, john, with one spot left, big baby david might be kicking himself for going after that $1,000 ring.
00:34:37 He's in the last round with a better chance of getting out of his crib than making it to the wipeout zone.
00:34:43 All right, guys, the food's getting cold, so round four has begun.
00:34:47 (Jill) You guys like seafood?
00:34:49 No, I hate seafood.
00:34:51 Too bad.
00:34:51 (John A. laughs) (John H.) WOW.
00:34:53 Holy mackerel.
00:34:54 Is there fish?
00:34:54 Yeah, a huge one.
00:34:55 Are you kidding?
00:34:56 Oh, johnny, are they in for a surprise.
00:34:59 (bell rings) This is the final round.
00:35:01 And wait till you see what drops in.
00:35:04 The lunch lady.
00:35:04 Ah.
00:35:05 John, that's our "wipeout" cafeteria lady, and she--he's brought some very slippery clam chowder to serve up.
00:35:10 Aah!
00:35:11 That fish must have been a red herring, because I did not see her--him showing up.
00:35:13 Well, obviously the lunch lady is more skilled ..
00:35:18 Oh, my god! oh!
00:35:19 But she--he's got tiffany the lifeguard in trouble.
00:35:21 Tiffany back up now, but it is raining pizzas again.
00:35:24 Big baby david confidently taking a bite.
00:35:26 (laughs) He's paying the price.
00:35:27 and now the fish are flying.
00:35:28 (contestants scream) Fish? no!
00:35:32 Oh!
00:35:34 (laughing) Big baby david is down.
00:35:36 He's definitely not getting pampered.
00:35:37 (woman shouts indiinctly) Oh, and the lunch lady's back, and she--he's got a handful of spaghetti.
00:35:41 Oh! oh, no!
00:35:43 Tiffany the lifeguard ..
00:35:44 No!
00:35:46 And she's beached.
00:35:47 Carpe diem-- either big baby david or our single lady need to seize the one spot left in the wipeout zone.
00:35:53 That's just gotta be one overtired baby, but he's made it over the bar.
00:35:56 Aah!
00:35:57 Single lady's down-- not just desperate, but desperately trying to hang on.
00:36:01 (contestants cheering) Oh!
00:36:03 Not gonna save it.
00:36:04 Single's out.
00:36:04 That's good news for lightning, and even better for big baby david.
00:36:08 He's one baby step closer to $50,000.
00:36:11 Get him to the changing table.
00:36:13 (contestants laughing) Johnny, I got my eye on a little surf and turf action.
00:36:17 I'm gonna leave it up to you to do the leaderboard.
00:36:18 Oh! all right! yay!
00:36:20 And with that, we are down to our final four.
00:36:23 They are rebecca "lightning" curtis, big baby david damiani, math whiz rob dickey and rock star eli gurian.
00:36:29 Stick around, because they'll all be staring down the wipeout zone soon, and a shot of winning $50,000.
00:36:33 Oh!
00:36:36 Oh! ooh!
00:36:39 hip-hop.
00:36:39 star.
00:36:39 [ Man #2 ] COME ON, SON. YOU'LL NEVER BE Like your dad.
00:36:42 [ exhales sharply ] [ horns honking ] ♪ ♪
00:36:56 ♪ great expectations ♪
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00:41:57 She,0 no it begins here at the dreadmill launch, where contestants free-fall 40 feet and bounce into arctic-like waters.
00:42:05 Then it's a short swim over to the gut busters, where they'll have to crawl up these blocks, through the hoop and across to the other side.
00:42:10 After enduring that pounding, our contestants move on to our flight of sinistairs.
00:42:16 They have to climb to the top of a spinning spiral staircase of trouble without being taken down by two ruthless sweeper arms finally, our finest four will have to make their way through the gauntlet.
00:42:26 The crankshaft winds it up, followed by the fearsome looking blades of fury, then across the bruising beater totter and through the hoop to the finish platform.
00:42:33 Four contestants remain, and the one with the best time goes home $50,000 richer.
00:42:37 Up first, rebecca curtis, who's hoping to storm through the wipeout zone.
00:42:40 Rebecca "lightning" curtis struck twice in the qualifier and the double cross, but left her thunder behind when she went on to the food fight.
00:42:49 We'll see if one curtis in the zone is enough to bring home the money.
00:42:51 Rebecca is up top, the dreadmill launch sequence ..
00:42:54 (whirring) ..
00:42:57 (clock beeps) ..
00:43:00 Oh!
00:43:00 Crashing ..
00:43:01 (screams and grunts) And dropping 40 feet into the waters of the wipeout zone.
00:43:04 Yeah, it's key to get a lot of ..
00:43:05 Oh!
00:43:07 And rebecca gets good distance off the bounce.
00:43:08 Oh!
00:43:10 She's now up to the gut busters.
00:43:11 These take speed and daring, john.
00:43:12 That hoop tonight xis gonna make it even more difficult.
00:43:16 the hoop almost making her fall right there.
00:43:19 does she have the strength here? oh!
00:43:23 Oh!
00:43:23 She grabs on to that hoop, but that block drops out from beneath her.
00:43:26 Oh!
00:43:28 Lightning crashes down into that water below.
00:43:30 Rebecca returning to the gut busters now for her second opportunity.
00:43:33 (grunts) Right through the hoop.
00:43:35 No problem.
00:43:35 Oh!
00:43:37 Oh, a slip backwards.
00:43:37 Oh! yeah.
00:43:39 She's going down again.
00:43:40 John, she just didn't have her balance on the block, fell backwards and didn't have the arm strength to hang on.
00:43:46 Back for a third run on these gut busters.
00:43:48 She's quickly getting back up for a face-off with that dreaded hoop.
00:43:51 Diving through, though.
00:43:53 Mm.
00:43:53 No fear.
00:43:55 Braced on the block.
00:43:55 Aah!
00:43:56 took a punishi hit, but managed to hang on and avoid another disaster there.
00:44:01 And she's across.
00:44:03 Now she is finally off to confront the sinistairs.
00:44:06 She's gonna need to be clean the rest of the way to set a strong time to beat.
00:44:10 and our only woman manning up for the sistair run.
00:44:11 (grunts) I love it.
00:44:14 Avoids that sweeper arm.
00:44:15 Rebecca going into overdrive, pushing her way to the top.
00:44:19 A stellar run up those stairs.
00:44:21 (laughs) YEAH, THEY CALL HER Lightning for a reason.
00:44:23 Hits that platform at 5:45.
00:44:24 Great shape now at the gauntlet.
00:44:27 First up is that crankshaft.
00:44:28 It's an easy pattern, but really tricky to negotiate.
00:44:31 She sprints.
00:44:31 Aah!
00:44:33 Oh!
00:44:33 Ohh.
00:44:33 We'll look at that again, john.
00:44:34 Yeah, the crankshaft takes ttiming and patience.
00:44:38 Speed is not the answer.
00:44:38 Oh!
00:44:40 And that is a hard-learned lesson for rebecca.
00:44:42 Her second shot at the crankshaft.
00:44:44 She crosses.
00:44:44 Now faces the blades of fury.
00:44:48 Slashing through both sets with ease.
00:44:50 And now on to that brutal beater totter.
00:44:51 Not easy.
00:44:54 Oh, another hoop.
00:44:54 45, fighting exhaustion ..
00:44:55 Ohh!
00:44:58 Holding on to that ring, the totteradding to the difficulty.
00:45:01 Wo she is showing a lot of grit and determination.
00:45:02 (grunts) She wants that $50,000, john.
00:45:07 Oh!, a perfect flip through.
00:45:09 That's really impressive.
00:45:09 Oh!
00:45:11 So close to the edge, but so far from finishing.
00:45:13 Pulling herself ever closer to the end.
00:45:16 Setting up, and a powerful leap across.
00:45:18 (grunts) She's on and she is up.
00:45:21 Yeah!
00:45:22 "Wipeout," I got you!
00:45:24 11 seconds, rebecca sets a great time to beat.
00:45:27 And now david damiani is hoping to take her down.
00:45:31 Big baby david damiani ..
00:45:32 Aah!
00:45:34 On the qualifier, it his stride in the double cross.
00:45:38 The food fight made him cranky, and it took him all four rounds, but he made it to the wipeout zone.
00:45:43 David is up on the dreadmill.
00:45:44 The launch sequence a go.
00:45:46 Dreadmill armed,
00:00:00 To join us next week, when we will have 24 new contestants taking on even crazier new obstacles, and, of course, to of wipeouts.
00:00:07 and for our colleague jill wagner, I'm john henson, saying goodnight and big balls ♪
00:00:15 aah!
00:00:15 Captioned byClos Captioning Services, Inc.
00:00:19 ♪
00:00:21 aah!
00:00:23 (thud) (thud, squeak) AAH! (boing) (grunts) (boing, thud) (crunch) (smack) (woman) AAH!
00:00:38 (thud, smack) Ah!
00:00:41 (boing) Aah!
00:00:43 Ooh! aah! whoa!
00:00:46 (mutters) (John H.) It's that time, america!
00:00:57 (man and woman) AAH!
00:00:57 What goes up must wipeout.
00:00:59 (grunts) OH!
00:00:59 OH! (laughs) (John A.) And wipeout they will, as 12 families--

1 comment:

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